Late night conversations between two drunk people

On Twilight:

– I still haven’t seen this movie, btw. 

al0hapenny: sunday is the day i die, and if not, monday we buffet to death! imabloodyrockgod: parang twilight lang. dying in edwards arms is easier. al0hapenny: potah, we may watch it tomorrow
imabloodyrockgod: omg omg omg ok. yun lang
imabloodyrockgod: i like the soundtrack! we must buy the album!
imabloodyrockgod: shet there’s this one scene na i hope you will flip
imabloodyrockgod: i dunno maybe its just me.
al0hapenny: i will watch it and TRY to contain myself
al0hapenny: baka mabatukan ako ni tj
imabloodyrockgod: i was distracted by the couple beside me
al0hapenny: baket
imabloodyrockgod: coz i kept on hearing weird noises, like groping, i dunno.
al0hapenny: hahahahaha )
al0hapenny: what the hell, srsly?
imabloodyrockgod: yeah coz i heard..*whoosh*
imabloodyrockgod: and the girl say **sssshhh** 

On Gossip Girl and ~unmentionable~ things:

imabloodyrockgod: […..] together…coz… basta you’re like an “it” couple
imabloodyrockgod: hehehehe
imabloodyrockgod: parang serena and dan lang yan
imabloodyrockgod: xoxo
al0hapenny: eeew but i dont like dan
al0hapenny: i like blair and chuck
al0hapenny: hihihi

(more…)

Picture of the day

There’s nothing romantic about death.  Grief is like the ocean: it’s deep and dark and bigger than all of us.  And pain is like a thief in the night.  Quiet.  Persistent.  Unfair.  Diminished by time and faith and love.

Catching up

 Every once in a while we tend to look for something better.  Something we may find just beyond the suffering we went through, something we may find just after facing our battles, something we may find somewhere across the river of our  fears and heartaches. We embrace it so much thinking it is what’s finally gonna save us. We convince ourselves that this is the truth. But in doing so, we are only bending the truth because we do not want to face the unknown.

Reality has a funny way of catching up to us and when it does we have no choice but to accept the truth, however cold and cruel than any lie it may be.

What to do when you’re bored at work

Blog! I thought of some other things too. My first option was of course to skip work. But considering my suspension and with June being just around the corner, ( which also means half of our sick leaves will be converted to cash ) I decided to ditch that thought. Besides, its always hard to enjoy when you constantly have to be alert or when you try hard not to bump into anyone from work, yes that happened to me once. Going back, I have no choice but to go to the office and hope that today would be as ‘petiks‘ as yesterday (because it was Memorial Day in the states therefore not much calls.) Is that too much to ask? I guess so. I’ve always thought that if we have a holiday at work, there’s always something in store for us the next day. Sure we enjoy all the food distributed and we enjoy lounging around in the pantry, while the rest of the Americans go to parades and stuff, but that almost always translates to having a very stressful work day after. Much like today, my shift started at 7pm and after 3 hours we already have reports of 2, not 1, but 2 outages! Both regions across America are experiencing downtimes, hooray! So much for a holiday. Right now I’m using my break in order to post an entry because I don’t want this blog to feel neglected. LOL. And Im hurrying up so I could ditch this shithole because I noticed that the calls are piling up and becoming more and more stressful. Im kidding, if any of my supervisors are reading this, I was able to finish everything I’m supposed to do and i’m willing to render overtime if you’d like?

Anyway, I post pictures of my weekend, uhm, two weeks ago? What a late I know. We went to Manaoag, Pangasinan and heard mass there. Seriously, cus we’re devoted like that. In case you didn’t know, that’s 6hours away from my hometown. Penny + weekend = (BOOZE) CHURCH???!! Yeah, yeah, shut up!

People sell a lot of religous items there like rosaries, prayer booklets and other holy figures. Those who buy have it blessed after the mass.

At the back of the church there’s an area where you can light a candle and pray for something to happen, like, i dunno, world peace? That’s water underneath, filled with melted candles.

Every time we go to church here, we always eat at this place not far from the church. I keep forgetting the name, but they serve bad ass sea weed salad! And Adobong Pusit, a famous dish here in the Philippines. Most people don’t like it. I love it! 

A Greeting!

I went home early today and just as I was falling asleep I got a text message from Globe that made me go WTF?! Why is Globe texting me, its not even October yet? The message?

Warmest wishes to you. You are most dearly remembered on your special day. Happy Birthday!

Then I remembered, my Globe line was under my mom’s name, so the greeting was for my mom! A year ago today, I was having dinner with the whole family. I had  a good time of course, eating, laughing, and sharing stories about my job and how i’m doing here in Manila. A few days after, three to be exact, we were having dinner again, this time after the mass at our parish. Two events, within four days, both celebrated for my mom, her birthday and mother’s day. This year, those days are/will be spent without her because she is not here (in the same country) anymore. I texted her and I will call her later on. Happy Birthday mother!

(don’t forget my ipod and laptop. LOL) 

I miss…

I’m too depressed and sad to go to work, or go out for that matter. But I miss the beach, the sound of the waves crashing, the way it throws me off the shore, the majestic view, the heat of the sun, holding hands while listening to reggae music and sipping mango shake, or drinking ice cold beer. I might go this weekend and the next and the one after that, but i’ve got no one to hold hands with. =( I just want to be alone and stay lost for a while, keep my mind off things.

Running to stand still

It sucks to not know if what you’re doing is the right thing or not. Well, the fact is that you really don’t get to know, and that sucks more. You just blindly go with the flow and ride the waves of life under the influence of your so called principles and beliefs. All you can do is wait and see where it might lead you and hope that its a better place. But often times its not and you contemplate, should you have gone the other way what would have happened? Being stuck in such a situation is just torture. I am too busy battling my insecurities, fighting boredom at work with a smile on my face, trying hard to avoid complaining about how horrible life is and how alone I feel at times. I don’t know how to steer clear of these problems and because of them I barely feel human enough to function. Or perhaps being this affected only shows how human I am, in that case I wish I was a robot so I won’t feel anything. This all seems like a bad dream, one that I can’t escape, I scream at the top of my lungs but no one hears me, I want to wake up now.  But no matter how hard I try to pull myself out, loneliness creeps and slowly pulls me back in and Im suffocated. It sheds darkness to the last flicker of hope I am holding on to. I feel so helpless. I don’t know how long this will go on, all I know is the longer it takes the more it divests me of my sanity and the deeper I fall into despair. So I go about my day with complete indifference. I was told to just hold on and follow the sun. Well, I’m holding on to dear life, but its letting go.

Happy Hearts Day

I haven’t been out on a date during Valentine’s Day, believe it or not. I’d rather stay home and watch movies and eat ice cream with the person, I don’t know, I find it embarrassing the same way I find carrying a bouquet of flowers embarrassing. LOL. What a weird huh? Back in school, I would always hate those who’d give me flowers (not that I was always given one, but I think it’s the lack of flower givers that made me feel awkward every time I got one) cus the bouquets are big and I can’t figure out a way to exit school premises without people noticing it. Also, I. AM. NOT. DEAD. So don’t give me flowers, give me chocolates instead, that’s what I’d always say. I’m not against Valentine’s though, plus it’s Kris Aquino’s birthday, another reason to celebrate it more. LOL. I don’t think lover and I have any plans for tonight…beer? No? I know we’re alone, it sucks. 

For those who have dates and/or a couple, have fun tonight, I hope you made reservations cus waiting in line outside a resto is not fun. Also leave early, cus traffic is awesome in the Philippines, didn’t you know? You know what else ain’t fun? If your date stood you up. Bah.  Got someone in mind? Well, HURRY. THE. FUCK. UP. and ask her/him already, what are you doing here reading? Did I not tell you about the restos being full and the awesome traffic? But then again, there’s tomorrow or the day after, which is NOT V day anymore! What no date? Don’t be bitter, you’ll get one next year.

A text message I got this morning : Love with all your heart and accept the unlovable side of others. Anyone can love a rose, but very few and only a great heart can include the thorns. WHAT A GAY.

HAPPY HEARTS DAY EVERYONE!

All bottled up

I should be sleeping but i find it rather difficult. Today, after quite while, I am once again bothered and stressed. Emotions are hard to resist and i hate it when they decide to gang up and confuse you. No, I dont feel like exploding, yet. I have always been perplexed at how these emotions,even the minutest and most trifling,can get to me and yet I do nothing but contain and keep it to myself. I know there are different reasons, depending on the person, how it is brought about and everyone seems to deal with it in their own unique way. Well, keeping it to myself, is my way of doing so. Or i can drown myself with alcohol which i think is a better way to get by. I may be random but I am not the type who would all of a sudden go mental and break whatever i could get my hands on, at least for now. See, Im a little worried at what could happen when I cant contain it anymore. And you are not helping.

In darkness and despair

Keeping me in the dark will not protect me, concealing the truth will hurt me more.

Your reassuring smile that used to take me home, now only throws me offshore.

Your words of gratitude and love that you shower me with, what is it good for?

For everything that comes from you is poison through my veins,

And I have not forgiven myself for letting you do this to me again.

Little by little it is killing me with pain,

And it leaves no mark, no trace, not even a stain.

The heart hasn't stopped bleeding and the thorns only pierce deeper,

It is certainly not invincible, and resilient, no longer.

Hope, like a dying ember, is lost in absolute despair,

Damaged and wrecked beyond repair.