Ich bin frei

This is a real pain in the neck…Some people say "when you love dont pour it all out, spare some for yourself" but should there be limitations when loving someone? Thoughts are running through my mind.. Thinking of it almost day and night.. wallowing in pain.. If only we could be together.. If only I could do something about the situation… If only I could let him feel how much I care.. If only I can reassure that everything will be okay… If only.. It will take a thousand words just let another person know how special he is..But none of that matters now, for I am free..

Its sad this had to happen, but its better this way, things happen for a reason and we can only look back and hope we learned something from it. And life goes on. It has to! There are alot of things i would be facing besides this.. I need to let it go I know i can in time i just hope its sooner, before i feel hatred towards that person.. what we shared, i will treasure. I dont have regrets, sometimes things are meant to go wrong, its inevitable, yet we tend to blame ourselves despite the fact that we have no control over the situation, that's what hurts us more, thinking of how you could have done something to prevent it and yet you didnt because you know what you are facing and that you really dont stand a chance. Its like fighting a battle and losing because your reason for fighting is your enemy.

But the heart is incredibly resilient, it can hold all the emotions and feelings you hide deeply, it can take the pain no matter how bad it hurts, and in spite of everything, it can still heal. All you have to do is wait patiently til that day comes, and learn to accept that things arent always meant to be no matter how bad we want it. You can only look back and cherish everything. Time will heal it from all its wounds. Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away. What's important is that you are not bitter over life's disappointments. Don't live in regrets. You have to let go of it because every day won't be sunny. And if you find yourself lost and lonely and in despair, you have your friends to help you get through it all. They're like the stars in the dark night they guide you and lead you back home."So, don't be afraid to make mistakes. The greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. You may get what you want, maybe more than you could imagine, nobody knows where life can take you. Its a long road ahead and the journey itself the destination."

 " Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering. "

Of Mother’s Day and Mornings at Subic Bay

    Ok i went home for the weekend because i need to vote, yes im a registered voter and yes im from Subic Bay, actually its Olongapo City, but Subic Bay sounds way cooler. Oh and also its mothers' day, my mom kept on asking me, " oh where are we gonna have dinner tonight? " How should I know its your day..ok i did not say that to her hehe she would've hit me with what ever she was holding. I said " Ask Pop, its his treat" and then my mom goes " Oh I thought it was your treat? " NO F***IN WAY!! no effin way!! (ok again i did not say that to her) haha but that was basically the end of discussion.

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It was raining today when I left the apartment, I had a good 8hr sleep which would prevent me from falling off my chair at the office and would help me battle those tickets and escalations (they just keep on coming everyday calling and calling and calling). Yep this pretty much was a stressful week, my back hurts from crouching here at my desk, my right hand aches from clicking the mouse all the time, my fingers are stiff from typing all the phone logs, my ears hurt and are always red for i have spent hours on the phone talking. Yes now i have logged out of my Callmaster and yet im still here currently on the phone still updating my escalations. Yvorry, a manager here and one of my pals, is next to me right now asking for money, "wala akong barya eh cge na pantaxi ko lng"  so I give her a hundred bucks and as she stepped away she was like "yehey salamat…ng marami…sa donation…" with an evil smirk on her face, i was like "Hoy! babayaran mo yan ah!" And there she kept on walking with that im-not-gonna-pay-u-haha-ur still-working smile, arrrgg!!! I would have grabbed her and said, stay here and work some more!, if not for the headset im wearing which of course would pull me back to my chair considering the distance that Yvorry had from me by now. Im looking forward to another movie from my list. Hope i can finish watching all of it soon. Im now listening to my new fave band Jimmy Eat World (well ive been listening to them ever since but i never really paid attention) and i really like them plus its better than the hold music from the telephone. haha! Im feeling so emo right now its all because of the rain, i hate it when it rains. Probably because every time something sad happens it was raining, so ive somehow associated them with each other. And by the way im still on hold so while waiting for the queue, im currently listening to my emo soundtrack and i have generated my suicide-slash-sad-songs-for-dirty-lovers playlist :

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